whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
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