Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
