I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
