Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
