ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
