She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
