I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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