One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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