You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize