they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Randomize
