every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
