is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
