i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
