office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
