yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
