we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
40s are totally the cure
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize