if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
