it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
