You're my little dorito
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
