First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
