I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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