escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
someone owes me an orgasm
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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