I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
