I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
