U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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