4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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