I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Randomize
