my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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