I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
