remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
