It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
