I want to make a zoo with you.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
