how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
