the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
