I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's just like the Real World with babies
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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