just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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