I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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