Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
