we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
