none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
