Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
