I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
