I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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