do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
