Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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