I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
