did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
