So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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