Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
