absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My friends, they love my intelligence
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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